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My story begins like many others... I was born, then daddy left me at the age of five and never came back...

Looking back at the age of 12 I still couldn't tell you if I was running from home or running into the world. Today I don't need to know, all I know is I was running. The streets were cold, callus, filled with loss, grief, pain, and sorrow. I was hungry and needed to eat, I was cold and needed a warm place to sleep I was alone and scared although I didn't show it...

Ontario Street in downtown Toledo was the place I walked seeking love and acceptance that I would never find. They came in droves...old men, young men, men of all ages. It was a perfect breeding ground for pedophiles.

I was only 14 years old trying to survive. I was between juvenile prisons. In order to survive I had to accept that this was what my life was meant to be. The first time I was picked up by an older, very heavy set man, he enticed me with food and drink. I thought he liked me. He gained my trust and then sodomized me... I cried and cried. I thought if there was a God He didn't care enough about me to help me... I was alone and angry. However, I needed to survive, so I took a different approach. I decided I would be in control of every situation I would decide who, what, and where. I became a master manipulator. I got what I wanted when I wanted it. I figured if they were going to use me, I was certainly going to use them. I was so alone, lonely, hurt, and disconnected. I just existed and succumbed to my circumstances, so I started to do drugs, and lots of them to mask the pain. I became a human sex slave to dozens and dozens of men each with his own perversions. I was so lost and felt so dehumanized so at times when I was picked up and sent to another juvenile prison I was relieved. At least for a while the pain would go away...
But there was the pain of being locked up that I had to deal with, and the pain and fear of not knowing if and when one of the staff would sexually assault me. It was a never ending cycle of complete misery.
At that time I never would have guessed that through all that I would fall even deeper into the big black hole of darkness and misery. It didn't happen at first. In the beginning these two worlds were exactly what I thought life was all about. There were the worlds of stripping and porn where I would spend over 20 years of my life...

Back then there were no male strippers. We were the first group in Ohio. Man, I thought I had arrived. There were hundreds of women glorifying me and paying me huge sums of money. At the age of 18 I was making more money than my parents. This was all a set up for the enemy's big lie.

After a couple years of stripping I entered into the world of escort services and porn. This was the beginning of a downward cascade into a state of what I call numbness. I couldn’t feel anything anymore. The “masks” I put on allowed me to escape who I really was. I no longer cared who you were or what you wanted sexually from me, as long as you were paying me, I would be anything you wanted me to be. I had a mask for every occasion. If you wanted me to be Snow White and 7 Dwarfs I would find a way to be that. This is where fantasy and reality clashed.  You don't know one from the other. So what do you do? Drugs! On porn sets back in those days, there were always bowls for cocaine on hand. The more cocaine I did the more powerful I thought I was. But everything has a flip side to it doesn't it?

After years of cocaine and alcohol abuse and living in the sex industry I started to lose that power. I have to tell you that filming a porn video is in no way the same as what the people on the other end of the video are viewing. The ten to fifteen minute act can sometimes take hours to produce. The people on the other side of the camera don't see the twenty to thirty people all around you. They don't see all the cuts from the director. They don't see the bodily accidents that take place. And they don't see, depending on who's shooting or the budget, the dirty set conditions. Nothing is what it appears to be and once the product that you become is no longer profitable, they throw you away like a dirty paper towel. I don't care what part of the sex industry you’re in, there's absolutely no glamour in it! "Too much time in the spotlight will blind you." I don't care if you’re selling yourself in an inner city alley or on a fifty thousand dollar porn set...there is no difference. Its all prostitution and paid rape. Men are just as victimized as women in this industry, because it is a soul issue. Unfortunately, many men don't come forward because of a shameful pride and ego...

After many years of alcohol and drug addiction it sent me literally into the closet of my home and mind, smoking crack cocaine for over a decade. Within that decade, most of which I had no human contact, I brutalized and tortured myself over and over again. There were many suicide attempts, the last being when I jumped off of a 3 story building. Throughout the course of my life I had broken every bone in my body except my back and my neck. But jumping off a 3 story building wasn’t enough. The devil wasn’t done yet, and I was back in the closet for another year where the devil began his process of killing me. I entered into a state of what I call numbness, in which I couldn’t live, and I couldn’t die.

That day I cried out to God I have never been the same. He took me out of the pit and did the inner work, as I knew I had to do the outer work. I was truly blessed in a way that was not apparent at the time, and that is, for the next year I had no one in my life, and relatively no human contact. I was just alone with God and his Word not knowing or understanding what it all meant. I was extremely frustrated, but I knew God was changing me from the inside out. I was merely a willing participant to let it happen no matter how difficult. Through prayer and discipline and seeking Him through His word, He kept giving me more revelation and wisdom. The more I learned to surrender all of me to all of Him, the stronger I became in my relationship with Him.

In 2007 God opened the door for me to move to Cincinnati. Upon my move while praying and searching for a church I received a local magazine in the mail which featured Word of Deliverance on the cover advertising their Holy Convocation in which Bishop TD Jakes was invited to speak. Bishop Jakes, not knowing me personally, was an extremely powerful influence in my life once I was saved. Having noone in my life and no direction in the Word of God I found Bishop TD Jakes on TBN and he was instrumental in teaching, leading, and guiding me in the understanding of the Word. Therefore, God spoke to me and said, "Seek out that church!" (Word of Deliverance for the World). Upon my first entry into the church I felt the presence of Holy Spirit and I knew God had brought me home. I sat under the leadership of Bishop Bobby Hilton and I will always feel blessed to have been a part of The Word Family, and have such respect for Bishop Hilton's vision and leadership position.


In 2010, I relocated to Hudson, FL with my wife Andrea.

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